Use the NVC sequence to turn blame into a coachable need and request.
Blame feels direct, but it usually hides the actual request. Observation Start with what happened that both people could verify. This lowers defensiveness because the conversation begins with shared data rather than character judgment. Need Ask what legitimate need sits underneath the frustration: predictability, trust, speed, customer protection, decision rights, or respect for constraints. Naming the need makes the issue discussable. Request End with a concrete request that someone can accept, reject, or negotiate. A request is different from a complaint because it gives the relationship a next move.
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