Use a state check before a hard read
Describe how hot and cold states distort perspective judgments.
The move: check your state before you trust your read. A hot state is any condition that narrows your perception: anger, time pressure, embarrassment, hunger, fear, fatigue, or status threat. The empathy gap means that from inside that state, you are likely to misread both yourself and others. You may experience the other person's behavior as more intentional, more personal, and more permanent than it is. Use the state -> story -> question sequence. State: 'I am rushed and embarrassed.' Story: 'They did not care.' Question: 'What happened in the handoff path?' This sequence pairs empathy-gap awareness with perspective-getting. It…
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